Kezia and Mike Fitzgerald wish they had never seen the need to start their own business.
They wish Kezia had never been diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma.
They wish their daughter, Saoirse, had not joined Kezia in the hospital, to fight her own battle against an aggressive tumor.
They wish Saoirse had won.
But wishing to change the past, the Fitzgeralds know, is useless.
"When our daughter died, Kezia and I took some time away and re-grouped our life," Mike said in a CNN iReport. "We made the decision that we were going to focus on positive things and do positive things in our lives."
During her pregnancy in 2010, Kezia noticed swollen lymph nodes in her neck. She ignored them, because she had experienced swelling before during allergy season. They didn't ache, she said, just made her neck appear uneven.
In June 2010, the Massachusetts couple became first-time parents to a healthy seven-pound baby they named Saoirse. But the swelling on the right side of Kezia's neck persisted.
By January, her doctors determined the cause: stage three Hodgkin's lymphoma. The cancer had spread to Kezia's chest, neck and abdomen.
Through her monthly chemotherapy, Kezia dealt with nausea and fatigue. But her treatment was going well, and the side effects were mild, so she thought the worst would soon be over.
Then one April morning, she and her husband noticed that Saoirse wasn't wandering around as she normally would. Even more startling, her eyes were swollen and her eyelids were black, blue and yellow.
"It looked like she had been in a fight," Kezia said.
Saoirse was also cranky and vomiting. She had swelling in both her ears and a bulge the size of an egg on her right temple.
"Her head looked like it was exploding," Mike said.
They rushed her to the emergency room. For three weeks, pediatricians and neurosurgeons focused on her head, taking CT scans to see whether she had bleeding there. The scans came out clean.
Finally, doctors found a neuroblastoma tumor in Saoirse's abdomen. She was in stage four.
Neuroblastoma is one of the most common types of cancer for infants and children, behind leukemia and brain cancer. There are about 700 new cases of neuroblastoma diagnosed each year in the United States, according to the American Cancer Society. It is an aggressive malignant tumor that develops in infants and kids when their immature nerve cells turn into tumors instead of cells and fibers.
When her father heard the news, he went numb.
"I thought, 'My God, I'm at risk of losing both of my family members, the two most important people in my life.' "
The cancer had spread throughout her tiny body, to her adrenal glands, bone marrow and ears.
Saoirse needed chemotherapy right away. Now she and Kezia shared more than their blonde hair, bright blue eyes and love for peaches.
A simple solution
Cancer didn't slow Saoirse down much. In between needles and diaper changes, the toddler wandered the halls of Boston Children's Hospital, toting her stuffed purple gorilla named Grape Ape.
But the peripherally inserted central catheter, or PICC line, doctors placed in Saoirse's arm to administer treatment kept getting in the way. The long flexible tube that was giving Saoirse essential nutrition and medications kept getting tangled.