Be polite, but trust your gut

With requirements that include an absolute prohibition on dairy touching any of her food, Beasley knows she might be making life more complicated for the kitchen staff.

She's very polite as she interviews her waiter. "Manners are really important when you're traveling," says Beasley. "You're working with someone to create a safe and enjoyable experience. I usually tell the waiter, 'Don't be scared. This is going to work out just fine.' They're part of your vacation but you're part of their workday."

That said, she'll leave if she senses the water is uncomfortable with her list of allergies. "If someone looks at you and says, 'We fry mozzarella sticks in same place we deep-fry French fries,' unfortunately you have to walk next door," she says. "Once you ask the questions, trust your gut."

If the degree of knowledge doesn't come down the chain of command of the restaurant to the waiter who's talking to her, she can't trust the food will be safe.

Find like-minded tourism

Vegans have more like-minded travel options beyond just where they eat. Farm Sanctuary, one of the top tourism attractions in Watkins Glen, New York, provides tours and overnight rooms at its sanctuary for rescued farm animals.

"Many people who visit come because they want to see animals, think it's a petting zoo and are introduced to the idea that we don't have to eat animals, " says Farm Sanctuary president Gene Baur, who co-founded the sanctuary in 1986. "Other folks are curious and are interested in what their vegan friends (who support the sanctuary) are saying."

There are also vegan bed and breakfasts popping up near the sanctuary and elsewhere whose owners serve only vegan food and don't use any animal products (like soaps) at their establishments.

The Red Robin Song Guest House, on the New York state side of the Berkshires, serves a vegan breakfast that can fool the doubters, says co-owner Lisa Robinson-Redd, who started the business a year ago with her husband, Jeff.

"We saw the guesthouse as an opportunity to educate people about the advantages of a vegan diet," says Robinson-Redd.

"About half of our guests aren't vegan. They're just looking for a place to stay for weddings, conferences, skiing (or other events). They're generally surprised at how delicious our breakfasts are. If we didn't say a word, I think they wouldn't know."