We really do love Internet business. Thanks to the Internet, you can buy everything from pina colada-flavored popcorn to bags full of yak fur and have it delivered to your home by UPS. (Just don't ask why we need the yak fur.)
But Facebook has brought about a whole new kind of Internet business operated by folks without the wherewithal to pay for a GoDaddy.com domain name and a simple website design. This profile is most readily identifiable by the use of either a company logo (usually with lots of bright colors) or a hot babe designed to make gullible guys become friends so they can be spammed with sales pitches.
The photo albums are full of product pictures and trade show shots. The wall is filled with testimonials allegedly written by satisfied customers. The status message is either a recycled bit of Zig Ziglar wisdom or a description of the latest product offering.
But even this is nothing compared to our last profile type.
No. 1: The True Believer
Let's make this perfectly clear: We are NOT making any reference to folks exhibiting their religious faith on their profiles. Rather, we're talking about the scary sort of fringe folk who believe that aliens are among us, the government is controlling our minds, the black helicopters are secretly monitoring us and the Illuminati are behind it all.
The profile picture will often be the owner in dark glasses and a hat pulled low. The wall will be full of links to conspiracy theory websites, UFO blogs and other tinfoil hat-wearing types. There are no photo albums, because THEY might be looking and gathering intel.
However, there will be videos, sometimes of unknown flying objects, sometimes Unabomber-level rants delivered by guys sitting in shadows.
Friending these folks is a ton of fun ... for about a week. But be careful: They track who unfriends them, and might decide you're one of THEM and take appropriate action. Then you'll have to get your own dark glasses and hat.
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